We returned for the first french lesson after Christmas break to find some short, chain smoker, cow with a non existant fuse she was just permanently pissed off. I seem to remember one of my friends suggesting we give her time to … err get worse?

Anyhow french being such a sisyphean task that my brain barely (or less so than normal) functioned during these lesson, this resulted me to produce some really odd quotes. I must admit some sound rather dodgey outside of the context, which I cannot remember, and others were just twisted with a large amount of poetic license. Here they are verbatim from the covers of my mates french book.

1. Tibet is in Quebec
2. If it sounds foreign, it’s correct.
3. Quiche = omelette in a pie.
4. Why do they put French in a French exam?
5. If I went to France, I would have to speak France.
6. Why must they speak France in French?
7. Don’t give me any ideas – Referring to his oral with Wigram
8. Dave’s sword is almost as big as Dave, and Dave’s bed, so Dave is longer than his bed.
9. I once ate a banana over two weeks.
10. Once you’ve found him, you’ve found him.
11. Move your chair dave, I need some room to spread my legs.
12. Move up dave, I’m wrapped up in your legs.
13. I had sex with my cousin the other day.
14. I licked the outside, it tasted like strawberry, I sucked out the middle, it tasted different.
15. I’m like a banana I bend both ways.

16. Me: I want to go the castle

    Friend: well go then

17. While Wigram is writing on the board – Was that writing there 10 mins ago?
18. I bend words, and eat my own cheese, because cheese is fun.
19. Whats this? Its all hard.
20. My cheese is humorous and plastic.
21. I get implants from Silicon Valley, but that’s beside the point.
22. My cheese is Grey.
23. I like eating my cheese yogurt.

So there you have it

… But Exeter University will be my home for the next 3 years w00t!

Friend is out of hospital; yay, he is on the mend so hopefully his adventurous plans should not be effected neither his exams hehe

I have obtained some new Music CD’s, which I ordered from Amazon, they are; Red Hot Chili Peppers – Stadium Arcadium, Lacuna Coil – Karmacode, and Bon Jovi – Have a Nice Day. Big thanks to the one, you know who you are, who got me some CD’s on my wishlist. I cannot stop listening to this RHCP or Lacuna Coil album, as my last.fm profile shows.

Free videos, of the Google Videos variety; Pearl Jam have released their latest music video under a Creative Commons license and uploaded it to Google Videos. You can watch it here.

I am having a good day, best friend not so, after our lovely meal last night he ended up in A&E within the hour. My thoughts are with him, atleast until I am incapacitated by intoxicating fluids (if I can afford enough.) Yup party tonight, yay, gonna return to head banging and celebrating freedom and looking forward to June 22^nd (last exam.)

BTW, no power cut today; no idea why. But it will be back

Well off I went in need to a beverage to tide me over the impenting maths test, which was cancelled but this is another story, so, off I wondered to thy trusty steed, in the form of a ’96 VW Polo 1.4L equiped with pwnage music and a single working speaker (not quite the chav.) I started the vehicle and strapped myself in, never know what is going to fly towards in school car park, off I went. Trundled out of the sixth form car park (I mean overflow car park, which sixth form should use), and into the main car park. Proceeded with caution around the blocks of cars parked at varying angles, rarely parallel to the parking space or the car next door. Out of the main body of the teacher parking and through to the middle where the entrance sits and the bus bays to the left, to the right we have the visitors parking (lazy sixth form and chav parking.) This is where the encounter began.

Watching out for cars merging into me after they entered the car park and head towards reception, I noticed a car come into a space about 3 spaces down from me with great hast, I anticipated idiocy. Saw continued momentum so braked rather quickly, eventually meeting the year 12 driver *ahem chav ahem* with a bunch of morons in the back, he stopped too (omg). He gave me the “wtf you doing? uh ur mum” look, I gave him the “awww special” look, realising he had no intention of going I hastily checked mirrors and sped off. Only to notice him emerge from the parking space and follow me towards the speed bumps. Yup you guessed it, he tailgated me over speed bumps, not the most clever thing to do, but heck this is moronicity at its absolute maximum here. So I proceeded over the speed bumps and an over cautious, unambitious, and damn right slow speed (cannot be too careful, but then we would never get anywhere *sigh*.) Used a bit of throttle and pulled away and headed onto the exit junction, bless he caught up and managed to follow.

Seeing nothing was there I pulled away in adventurous mode, got to 30MPH (the limit) and stuck there. Glaring into the rear view mirror, I saw him performing an attempt at pulling away, and then predicatably ending up sat on my ass again. Well I thought this is not good, increase the safety of the situation I slowed down a bit, down to 20MPH now. Let him follow suite and then dropped down to 2nd and got back to 30MPH, when he began to follow I slammed on the anchors, just a little hint I don’t mind using them when you are too close to stop (it is his fauly period) never know what bugs I might spot. I arrived at the Stop junction (blind looking right due to protruding house) I observed clear right, left and over the road so I pulled out. Chav followed again, without a glance right (wow he trusts me so bad.) Anyway I was back up to 30MPH quickly and soon he reappered on my tail, this time he didn’t like my tactics so. He overtook, in a 30MPH zone when I was doing the speed limit, there was a car coming towards him and a traffic island ahead. Yes this is the best example of irrational thought ever, broken logic supreme, or maybe everyone in the car was suicidal (or just the driver, the rest had brown trousers.) He managed to pull back over about 5 seconds before hitting the traffic island, if I had continued at ~30MPH I reckon he may have had it, but fearing for my own safety and predicting big cockup with slippery road surface I slowed down. I was expecting him to try and move over then brake to loose speed and lock his wheels up, what a cool site that would have been (not wishing death here.)

Thankfully nobody was hurt just my respect for him, ohh wait I had none, he had a sign above his head saying tosser. So, all is well in the world of me

I could populate this blog with dumbass things spotted on the road but, alas, I think my database would scream

On another note today, came home from work and jumped pretty much into a shower, damn ceilings with fibreglass coated dust in them (or was it the other way around :S?) Anyway I was itching all over my arms and ears so off I went to rid myself of the itching. Back to physics *winches self in towards the dreaded coursework*

… and so do I!

Jack appeared at our table with Ellie, Katy, Dave (the gate crasher), and me sat upon it, he said hey and Katy noticed his shirt pocket was at 90 degrees (perpendicular) to where it would normally be. After some other chatter Jack left again, and Katy mentioned how weird to have a pocket like that. I, with my imagination in overdrive, stepped in and said.

Maybe he is wearing his shirt sideways.

After a brief pause I continued to say (without engaging brain.)

But wait, where would the other arm come out of?
Ohh … Hangon the head hole!

That sent us into hysterics and me into a more colourful face than normaly, although I burried my head to hide my shame At least I noticed my own mistake I suppose, but would the rest of the table have realised I wonder?

Toodles… (there is a clue or two)