Chris' Blog » Humour http://www.cs278.org/blog “A metal loving, web developing, open source contributor.” Sun, 03 Apr 2011 14:36:34 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 One enormous footer http://www.cs278.org/blog/2010/01/31/one-enormous-footer/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2010/01/31/one-enormous-footer/#comments Sun, 31 Jan 2010 17:46:49 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=518 Continue reading →]]>

Lloyds TSB Bank plc. Registered Office: 25 Gresham Street, London EC2V 7HN. Registered in England and Wales, number 2065. Telephone: 020 7626 1500.

Bank of Scotland plc. Registered Office: The Mound, Edinburgh EH1 1YZ. Registered in Scotland, number 327000. Telephone: 0870 600 5000

Lloyds TSB Scotland plc. Registered Office: Henry Duncan House, 120 George Street, Edinburgh EH2 4LH. Registered in Scotland, number 95237. Telephone: 0131 225 4555.
Cheltenham & Gloucester plc. Registered Office: Barnett Way, Gloucester GL4 3RL. Registered in England and Wales, number 2299428. Telephone: 01452 372372.

Lloyds TSB Bank plc, Lloyds TSB Scotland plc, Bank of Scotland plc and Cheltenham & Gloucester plc are authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority.
Halifax is a division of Bank of Scotland plc. Cheltenham & Gloucester Savings is a division of Lloyds TSB Bank plc.
HBOS plc. Registered Office: The Mound, Edinburgh EH1 1YZ. Registered in Scotland, number 218813. Telephone: 0870 600 5000

Lloyds Banking Group plc. Registered Office: The Mound, Edinburgh EH1 1YZ. Registered in Scotland, number 95000. Telephone: 0131 225 4555

This e-mail (including any attachments) is private and confidential and may contain privileged material. If you have received this e-mail in error, please notify the sender and delete it (including any attachments) immediately. You must not copy, distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it or any attachments.

Telephone calls may be monitored or recorded.

I removed the double line spacing as well!

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2010/01/31/one-enormous-footer/feed/ 1 How customer service should be http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/12/14/how-customer-service-should-be/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/12/14/how-customer-service-should-be/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 19:49:16 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=509 Continue reading →]]> Awesome and entertaining customer service from IWOOT!

I’m sorry to hear about this, but thank you for letting us know.

I’ve just sent a request for a new one to be sent out to you, so you should receive it soon.

There’s no need to return the broken one, we wouldn’t want the posties to be carrying around broken pottery in their bags – they have enough to complain about! Just take care and dispose of it safely.

I hope this helps a wee bit?

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/12/14/how-customer-service-should-be/feed/ 1 HP strikes back http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/07/31/hp-strikes-back/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/07/31/hp-strikes-back/#comments Fri, 31 Jul 2009 18:58:37 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=491 Hewlett Packard, and others, strike back with ever more excessive cardboard gluttony; the Register has the details.

BT packaging

BT’s feeble attempts at a cardboard indulgence.

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/07/31/hp-strikes-back/feed/ 1 Home Office Gaffe http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/04/27/home-office-gaffe/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/04/27/home-office-gaffe/#comments Mon, 27 Apr 2009 20:30:36 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=482 Continue reading →]]> The UK Home Office published a consultation paper on the 24th April detailing their plans for draconian data retention and access rules, which will see ‘communications data’ retained by ‘communications service providers’. As concerning as the whole thing is, there was an interesting mistake I noticed.

There is a right to complain to an independent tribunal if a member of the public believes that their data has not been acquired unlawfully.

Protecting the public in a changing communications environment

Lovely double negative!

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/04/27/home-office-gaffe/feed/ 0 Mah Pizza http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/02/03/mah-pizza/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/02/03/mah-pizza/#comments Tue, 03 Feb 2009 01:42:31 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=443

Pizza: Iz mine n u can't have any!

Thanks Will! and Kenny.

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/02/03/mah-pizza/feed/ 0 Can anybody explain? http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/01/19/can-anybody-explain/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/01/19/can-anybody-explain/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2009 20:53:25 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=441 chris@sandman:/mnt$ sudo df -h . Filesystem Size Used Avail Use% Mounted on /dev/sdb1 459G -1.9G 461G 0% /mnt chris@sandman:/mnt$ sudo du -hs . 4.0G .

I sure as hell cannot!

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2009/01/19/can-anybody-explain/feed/ 3 The Art of Shipping, HP Style http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/30/the-art-of-shipping-hp-style/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/30/the-art-of-shipping-hp-style/#comments Sun, 30 Nov 2008 17:50:00 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=415 Continue reading →]]> Hewlett Packard seem to have an internal shipping and packaging manual which enforces excess, for crying out loud we don’t want our precious consignments broken so we give them plenty of impact absorbing cardboard crumple zones. The Register has been documenting HP’s packaging excess and here are their examples of cardboard gluttony.

  1. Fragile Paper: 32 sheets of paper sent paired up, wrapped in foam and then placed inside a box, with all 16 boxes then placed in a super sized box.

    Extremely Fragile Paper

  2. Pallet Overkill: A single PS/2 mouse packaged on a standard shipping pallet.

    Mouse on Shipping Pallet

  3. Extreme crumple zones: A single DIMM shipped in a box about twice as wide, 10 times higher and twice as deep.

    HP Shipping DIMM in huge box

All images stolen from The Register.

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/30/the-art-of-shipping-hp-style/feed/ 0 Out of Office Road Sign http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/01/out-of-office-road-sign/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/01/out-of-office-road-sign/#comments Sat, 01 Nov 2008 00:06:14 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=398 Discovered this little gem on BBC News.

Shamefully hot-linked image of a road sign with incorrect Welsh Translation

The Welsh translation reads:

I am not in the office at the moment. Please send any work to be translated.

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/11/01/out-of-office-road-sign/feed/ 0 Credit Crunch Jokes http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/10/14/credit-crunch-jokes/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/10/14/credit-crunch-jokes/#comments Tue, 14 Oct 2008 16:16:48 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=395 Continue reading →]]> I came across a fantastic collection of jokes on the BBC News website, submitted by readers, about the credit crisis.

What’s the difference between Investment Bankers and London Pigeons? The Pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMW’s.

Rob, London, UK

What have Icelandic banks and an Icelandic streaker got in common? They both have frozen assets.

Stuart Harley, West Malvern, UK

For Geography students Only: What’s the capital of Iceland? Answer: About Three Pounds Fifty…

John Green, Chessington, Surrey, UK

Quote of the day (from a trader): This is worse than a divorce. I’ve lost half my net worth and I still have a wife.

Sottovoce, Cambridge, UK

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/10/14/credit-crunch-jokes/feed/ 0 It’s the moon stupid! http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/07/04/its-the-moon-stupid/ http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/07/04/its-the-moon-stupid/#comments Fri, 04 Jul 2008 19:04:16 +0000 Chris http://www.cs278.org/blog/?p=375 Seriously, a Welsh bloke phoned 999 (the UK emergency number) to report a large bright stationary object in the sky which had been there for at least thirty minutes. What a total waste of police time and taxpayers money.

]]> http://www.cs278.org/blog/2008/07/04/its-the-moon-stupid/feed/ 0